Got played by another pt for the umpteenth time. My attending got really upset by him and wrote out a prescription for neurontin begrudgingly.

I can’t see through patients the way other doctors can. I have some sort of super naive defective personality where I believe the good in everyone. I’m far too forgiving and write off potentially serious flaws as personality “quirks”. I can’t label people as “bad” and I still find myself defending a patient long after the attending has already made up their minds about the drug seeking. Even the psychiatrist who was not directly overseeing the patient saw right through him. I get too invested in people and am overly empathetic. It’s a recurring problem in my life that I need to get past.

I would make a terrible doctor in the ED. I would probably give everyone everything they wanted until I finally become so cynical that I refuse to treat anyone anymore.

Someone told me the story of a drug seeking woman who refused a pregnancy test because she was lesbian and couldn’t be pregnant. They had to do one anyway because the drugs are pregnancy category c. She was pregnant. The attending’s best guess was that she was probably so preoccupied chasing after the high that she may have been raped and not even realized it. it’s so sad.